loudly 改成 loud loudly是副词,不能修饰名词.只能用loud 这个形容词来修饰 voice.
中间那部分,其实都没有错误,说法这样说也可以,所以不用改.
最后三句
It is worth for us to study its never-give-up attitude. worth 这个词不能这么用,中文我们说 值得我们学习,英文 要说 We should learn from him his never-give-up attitude. 你要注意中英文之间的差异,不要全部直译.
His story made me moving. moving 改成 moved 就可以了, 我被感动了,用ed
I think he will do the best athlete in the world and in everyone`s heart! do 改成be
很好了.