Divorcing people are notorious for trying to go it alone. We don't want to burden our friends, we're embarrassed to tell them about our divorce, and sometimes we just can't muster the energy to ask them.
You need your friends. You need all the resources you can call on right now. They can support you and help you keep your focus sharp. They can help you deal with the pain of divorce and help you think strategically. They can help you get on with your life after divorce. You need your friends.
At the same time, your friends are reluctant to step into your life, for several reasons. I think the reasons your friends have for avoiding your divorce fall into two groups:
The first group is made up of friends who care about you -- sometimes care about you deeply -- but who just can't bring themselves to get in touch with you because your divorce is too painful for them to confront it and deal with it. As a result, they simply avoid you.
Please be gentle with these friends and give them space. They'll come around. What you must realize, though, is that the person for whom your divorce is too painful to deal with really can't help you right now.
The second group is made up of friends who want to help and are willing to help but need a gentle nudge from you. They don't know whether they're intruding. They don't know whether you want them to take sides. They don't want to make a bad situation worse. These are the friends who can help you, and you need to help them do it.